The choices we make...

Life changes in a blink of an eye. Every choice we make plays a role in our future. Little did I know, one small choice would open a path that I never saw coming.

We had been in the Foundations class for about 5 weeks. By this point, I had made a few more connections with people, one of them being Beka. We weren't even what I would call friends at this point, except in the world of Facebook. On Feburary 22nd 2012, her son, Khris, passed away. He was 36, and it was very sudden. On a side note, I love hearing stories about this man. No, he wasn't perfect, none of us are. But, these kids sure did love him, and he was a great dad. It is coming up on the 2nd anniversary of his death. I'm so glad the kids are opening up more everyday, and allowing their heads and hearts to really think about him, and share the happy and sad thoughts that they feel.

My mom and Beka had been friends for years. So, when the news of Khris' death came out, our family wanted to do what we could to help. I remember the day of the funeral for a couple random reasons. That was the first day I saw "my kids". I remember standing off at the side of the room at the reception. I just watched the kids for a few minutes. My heart ached for them. I didn't know them, but I remember seeing them run around and praying that God would wrap His arms around them. I laughed watching them awkwardly talk to people. As typical with most children, they had no desire to talk to people they didn't really know. I remember laughing to myself as I watched that. These are small memories, but precious to me. Who would have ever guessed at this point...

Going back to choices we make. A few days after the funeral, I sent Beka a message on Facebook. I asked if she wanted to go grab dinner somewhere and just talk. We both agree now, that this was random for both of us. Why did I ask? And why did she agree to go? Not normal for either of us. The feelings are mutual of that day. We both drove there wishing partly that we weren't going and nervous of what it would be like. She was worried I would just talk about her sons death and I was worried we would sit there in silence. We couldn't have been more wrong. Before I knew it, we were both pouring out our hearts to each other. I found myself telling her things, few people knew about me. We laughed a lot, teared up a few times and left promising to hang out again soon.

Before I knew it, God had blessed me with an amazing friend. Those next few weeks led to some of my favorite times in our friendship. Dinners, lots of laughs, her getting me into the show 24, and working on the house. Working on the house.... Another small way God worked all of this out, only the way that He can. Beka and her son,Khris, had started remodeling the house a few months before he died. So after his death, she wanted to continue. It also helped her to just do something, change things, and also without her knowing, God had a purpose. We worked on two bedrooms in the house. Gutted them completely. There are great stories of hours of organizing, shredding papers and the day I ruined part of the hardwood floor. These rooms were left empty, and open to any idea she may have.

April 13th, 2012... Let the wonderful craziness begin. It was a normal day at work for me. That day, I got a feeling like I had never felt. Out of nowhere, I had a horrible feeling and felt very pushed to contact Beka, and to do it right then. I remember asking the director to please step in my classroom, and that I had to make an emergency phone call ASAP. I practically ran outside to use my phone. That was how crazy that feeling felt. Beka answered, and her response was along the lines of, "how did you know?" I had not talked to her in a few days, but apparently they had been a little insane. Without going into personal details, I will explain the kids mom in some vague words. She has had an addiction problem for the kids whole lives, she was absent more than present in their world, and she always left the family in a good questioning game of what that week would hold. Well, those past few days had a few events that caused worry for Beka when it came to the kids. So, on April 13th, she went to file for emergency custody. She had called her daughter to tell her, and as soon as they hung up, that's when I called. I immediately left work, and drove to meet her at the house. 

I was the random choice for this. It could have been countless family members, not the friend who hadn't even been around for 3 months yet. But, that wasn't His plan. We drove my car, and went to pick up the kids. I was a nervous wreck on the way there. I didn't know these children and we weren't sure how the mother was going to respond. Out of respect for my kids, I won't go into the details of that afternoon. It was hard and very sad. The kids adore their nana, Beka, but nobody wants to be taken from their mommy, no matter what the situation. It took hours, and that day will forever be burned in my mind. We asked the kids what they wanted to do,and they decided to go grab a bite to eat at the Mexican restaurant. That may have been the most awkward meal of my life. My kids have now admitted to me, they were furious at me at that point. Who was I, and why did I help take them away from their home? 

We left the restaurant and made beds for the kids....in the newly cleaned out and empty bedrooms. Awesome right?! And then my heart melted... Gavin, 9 at the time, asked me to just stay with him on the couch til he fell asleep. I will NEVER forget those moments of playing with his hair and holding back tears. This boy didn't know me at all, but God instantly formed a bond. 

The next few months were actually pretty easy. Beka didn't work, so she could be with them. I started coming over a few nights a week after work. It honestly started because it was close to my job and I could miss rush hour traffic if I went there first. But then, more reasons happened. These kids had my heart. Gavin continued to ask me to stay until he fell asleep. So, I started spending the night. It never felt awkward or random. It just felt right. We all were able to be there and bond and slowly get to know each other. 

One day that July, I came over after work. Beka was sitting on the front porch, and it was obvious she was crying and had been for a while. She informed me that she got her dream job offer that day. She works in the film industry, and had always traveled to work on different movies. When she got the kiddos, that obviously came to a stop. There was going to be a new tv series, Nashville, that was going to be filmed right here at home. She was called that day, and asked to come be the Key Hairstylist. I was so excited for her, but didn't understand all the sad tears. It was then that she explained the long work hours and it was impossible for her to do that and the kids. Without missing a beat, she would have stayed home, and  been there for them, no questions asked. But it was such an ironic answer to prayer, that just didn't seem possible. 

I grew up hearing people say they felt led by God. That they knew without a doubt He was calling them to something. I never had that feeling until that day. And before I knew what was coming out of my mouth, I said, "take the job, I'll move in, and we will figure this all out". And trust me, this is just the beginning!